What is Self Love ?
Self love means loving yourself, making yourself your own priority. It means, keeping your happiness and satisfaction first and not please others by sacrificing your own happiness.
What is the importance of self love?
There is a well-known saying “ We can’t pour from an empty cup. So, if we lack self love , we will never be able to spread unconditional love and happiness to people connected to us. Many people consider self – love as an ego or selfish attitude, that demands one to think of themselves, before anyone else. But the fact remains, people who sacrifice their happiness just to please others, always end up having expectations in return. If not fulfilled, it leads to self denial or isolation and in extreme cases even depression. Only , people who understand self love , are free from all bondages , fear of rejection , happy and contented within themselves, so they never depend on others for their happiness..
Once you love yourself, you will realise ,that it is so much easy for people around you, to love you. They feel uplifted by your vibrations and feel sense of joy, when they are around you. You radiate all positive vibes of self- love. as well as, start understanding yourself and your needs very well , getting aligned with your life purpose. You unlock your inner talents and hidden creativity, which further motivates you, towards your goal .
Why people Lack Self Love?
We’ve been often conditioned to think and act selfishly, in ways that limit our access to the divine, with false, programmed beliefs that often result in suffering, addictive behaviors, and spiritual disconnection. People are conditioned to judge or to get angry or blame someone else , as a way to avoid their painful feelings and make others responsible for their feelings of worth and safety.
We are not taught the importance to love our self, our body or our needs or even pay attention to our feelings and honour them. Rather sometimes, many people end up giving too much , to avoid fear of rejection or failure, hence leading them to suffer, from loss of mental and emotional peace.
Effects of Lack of Self-love
When we deny this very important aspect of our life, we end up with lots of miseries . Few stated below :-
We are scared to talk or deal with our own pain, hence we indulge in unhealthy food habits or alcohol, nicotine, or drugs or to turn to television, video games, social media, shopping, or porn to distract us from our painful feelings or numb our pain.
Insecurity/ Trust/understanding issues in a relationship
Since we lack self love, so we tend to worry too much, as we keep searching for love,acceptance, safety from people around us. All this makes us insecure/possessive or develop fear of rejection, hence focusing too much, on the concerned person/relationship and expecting him/her to fulfill all our needs, further leading to sabotaging that person. This lead to loss of trust/ understanding issues in a relationship .
Feeling of unloved / isolation
All your feelings have vital information for you about whether you are loving yourself and supporting your highest good or whether you are abandoning yourself with your various addictive and controlling behaviors.
Failure in desire manifestation
When we our not aligned with our higher self, we start attracting unnecessary , unwanted fears in our lives that further remove our focus from working towards our goals, hence we deviate from our responsibilities /family duties / career, ending up with further failures and sufferings. So , one should be happy from within ,to achieve abundance.
Pain / stress
All the pent -up and suppressed feelings/thoughts/ emotions/blockages in our energy fields , start showing in our physical body , if we don’t address the same at the right time, which severely affects our health causing mental stress, pains in certain body parts or lack of immunity . Listen to your body, it speaks to you.
Lack of self- acceptance
Many people look for acceptance from people around them without realizing the need to accept themselves first. Every person gives importance to others opinions without accepting themselves as perfect , unique , Divine creation. They underestimate their body, skin complexion , looks, temperament, skills, abilities, intelligence, behavior and everything about themselves. They find faults in themselves ,which hurts them more.
Different methods to bond with yourself
Take responsibility for every aspect of your life, love yourself unconditionally, and connect to your own divine guidance. Take few deep breaths. Visualise Divine pink energies filling your entire body with Divine Love and embracing you lovingly. Cry out , all that you hold within, everything that weighs you down. Let it go, surrender all you worries to God. Let God take care of you. Always, impart your opinion with wisdom and compassion ,while maintaining inner and outer peace regardless of the situation. There are many ways to heal yourself naturally and feel loved.
Attitude of Gratitude
Focus on positivity and blessings. Start your day with gratitude to Divine creator for all that you are blessed within. Focus on small things that make you feel blessed eg: water coming in your tap, thank the bed where you sleep, thank the house that gives you shelter etc.. There are infinite things to be grateful for and if we shift our focus to small blessings in our life , then believe we will be blessed in manifold and gradually live an abundant life.
Achieve self-acceptance. Accept yourself completely the way you are. Believe yourself and be your own motivation. Love yourself, caress your body, thank your body for being with you. Focus your attention on each part of your body and thank each part or organs of your body for performing its functions perfectly, irrespective of all the hurts you have caused yourself. heart beats for 24X7, your hands that work, your legs that take you to your destination, mouth that speaks etc etc.
Forgive yourself and others
Heal your suffering as well as sufferings of others through self love.. Let go, of all the events which can only bring you more pain and sadness. Forgive and let go of others wrong doings too, not because they are not guilty or won’t change but for your own peace. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you made, because none makes mistakes consciously to hurt themselves but It’s just the consequences of our actions or choices that lead us to sufferings. At, the same time, thank all the dark times that you faced due to your own actions, for making you more experienced and creating awareness. Accept that only after going through a dark tunnel , we experience light. So, be thankful to the dark times that created better version of you through realizations. You can do a small self – forgiveness prayer or a simple prayer stated below:-
Ho’oponopono (Your name/ concerned person’s name)
I am sorry
Please forgive me
I love you
Do it daily as many times, whenever possible and see the miracles in yourself.
Its rightly said that people around us treat us the way we treat our self. If this universe is a mirror, then the way you treat yourself is the way you’ll often witness other people treating you. They are mere reflection of your inner self. “Mirror work is a unique practice where you meet your own reflection in the mirror(people around you) and send yourself loving, self-affirming affirmations, and even open up a conversation with yourself as if you’re speaking with a dear friend.
Mirror work is about getting to know yourself so you can face your life with courage as an aligned and self-aware human being.” —Empowerment coach Natalia Benson.
Inner child healing
You have the choice to learn about what your feelings are telling you about the beliefs and conditions, you absorbed during your childhood. They may be limiting you in your work, relationships, and ability to connect with your Divine guidance. The more you learn to compassionately open , to learning , with your feelings and how to heal the false beliefs that are creating much of your pain, the easier it becomes to connect with your inner child and become your own true self.
Listen to yourself and your own body. Listen to your own heart and your own desires. Work on them to fulfil them yourself, because its only you who can understand, what can truly make you happy. Go ahead , spend few bucks- do some shopping or shake your legs to your favourite tune, go to your favourite spa. Just indulge and pamper yourself , because you deserve it.
Healthy Diets/ workout
We must indulge in physical activity preferable go for a jog/walk/dance or outdoor activities that connects you to nature through wind, ground, trees . It releases oxytocin hormone, that is a feel good hormone and make you feel happy, positive and motivated. Learn to eat healthy diet to create good positive healthy feeling about your own body. Try to avoid junk food that lowers your frequency, leading you towards, feelings like anxiety, depression, guilt, and shame. P.s- occasionally, it’s alright to go and munch on your favourite snacks or burger. We all need a change!
As, we embrace the beauty of our own essence, we are naturally able to see the essence of others, and that’s when we have the experience of knowing that we are all one. Just as we know that harming some of the cells in our body affects our whole body, harming ourselves affects all of us. Once we learn to master the art of Self Love, then we can inspire others. Then, all of us will be together, sharing love on our beautiful planet and supporting ourselves and each other in our highest good. As we deepen our Inner Bonding practice, we will notice that the more we love our self, the more we find our self-developed compassion towards others. The more we define our self by our wonderful inner qualities, the more we are able to observe beyond the external qualities of others and understand their true nature